real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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