i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
