Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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