What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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