Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
