I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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