No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
