you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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