4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
My feet surprised me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize