Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
