I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
