Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thank you for not boning my boss.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
