Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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