I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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