I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We are all done wearing pants today
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
