so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
