I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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