you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
