guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
