Will you blow on my dice?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
