I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
