Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
