it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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