if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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