Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize