So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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