Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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