Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
