Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
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