i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I AM VODKA MAN
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
