a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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