You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
