I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize