Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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