I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
