i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
