I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
