you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
