you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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