dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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