I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
