I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
