It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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