At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
