Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
