I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
