What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
