Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
