I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
too bad you live with your parents still
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
