Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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