You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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