I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
