Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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