ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
