Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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