So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
